The Technoelf
by The Lord and Master
Summary: Meet Nevithion. He's brought a thing called "technology" to Middle Earth


This story was written during science class when Ms. Gill's monotone voce was lecturing about computers and the other half was written in history during Coach Mot's endless notes. Being one of the many bored freshman, I pulled out my trusty yellow notepad and started writing.  
  
WARNING: BOREDEM IS A VERY DANGEROUS THING.  
  
You are about to enter a world of the Techno-elf (No, not the music, "techno" Oh, never mind, just read the story.)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything LotR. If I did, I would be married to Liv Tyler, and that Orlando Bloom's head would be sitting on a post on my front lawn..  
  
Nevithion looked out of the window, watching the elf princess of Rivendell, Arwen, ride in with a little man slung across the back of her horse. He looked again, then he asked himself "Why the hell is she riding a horse?" as he turned to his computer.  
  
He shook his mouse to get his "I hate Legolas" screensaver off.  
  
Nevithion moved his cursor to the "communications" icon and clicked on it.  
  
"Arwen, can you hear me, princess?"  
  
"Yes, hear you."  
  
Nevithion sensed a nervous tone in her voice.  
  
"Arwen, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, just those Ringwraiths. You know those stupid spirits have computer trackers on the saddles of their horses? Luckily, I got to the river's database and typed in that spell."  
  
"That special effect's software in good working order?" Nevithion was very proud of his inventions.  
  
"Oh, yeah." Arwen answered "Have you heard from Vega?"  
  
Nevithion started cussing, he used very single cuss word in his vocabulary.  
  
"You had another fight, didn't you?" Arwen assumed, she pretty much figured she was right.  
  
"Yes!" Nevithion snapped. "She thinks she is the only person with problems in Middle Earth, just because she is a woman ranger!"  
  
Arwen, now unsaddling her horse, raised her right eyebrow. "Oooookay. Are you done genius?"  
  
"Gooood, because the ring bearer is in bad shape, and needs some of that new technology stuff you invented."  
  
Nevithion typed in some information into his computer.  
  
"Okay, bring him up." He made a click on his screen and canceled his connection with Arwen.  
  
Nevithion stretched back in his shiny wooden chair and looked up into the ceiling. The room was decorated with golden pillars, a bookshelf encased with many ancient writings and a jeweled staircase leading down to the first level of the palace.  
  
Thoughts started to circulate inside in mind, the inventions, the Fellowship, vulgar thoughts of Vega, and most of all, thoughts of Arwen. Nevithion had crush on Arwen since he first layed his blue eyes on her.  
  
Nevithion was an elf. Like most elves, Nevithion made a natural warrior, but never had the means to go into battle. When the problem of the one ring rose, Elrond summoned him for his technical expertise.  
  
Nevithion had just launched his software company, Microelf, when he was summoned. All of Nevithion's computers included, Microelf Word, Microelf Works, Elf Media Player, and other kinds of accessories.  
  
Arwen walked up the staircase, catching Nevithion's attention. Arwen had the seemingly lifeless body in her arms.  
  
Nevithion stood up and said "Hold him for just one more moment."  
  
Nevithion turned his back to Arwen and grabbed his mouse and clicked on the "emergency" icon. The password screen followed his click. He typed in the code and hit enter.  
  
The room began to quake, being elves Nevithion and Arwen didn't have trouble keeping their balance.  
  
Arwen gave a stern look "Nevithion, what in Middle Earth did my father let you do to this palace?"  
  
Nevithion gave a stupid grin, "Errrrrrrrrrrrr, just a little redecorating."  
  
"A little? The whole palace is shaking like a Balrog is stampeding through here." Arwen moved her head to the left dodging a miniature lighting ornament.  
  
Arwen looked around puzzled, "Wait a minute, nothing's changed." Nevithion nodded in Arwen's direction "Yes there has, look behind you."  
  
Arwen turned around, with the hobbit body still in her arms. She saw that the bookshelf had shifted to the side and opened a secret passage. The princess turned back to Nevithion in disgust "All that quaking just to move a bookshelf????"  
  
Nevithion shrugged his shoulders and gave another silly grin. "Uuuugh." Arwen moaned as she rolled her eyes and headed down the passage  
  
*************************************************************  
  
An elf with a computer and a headset? What the heck? See what high school tedium does to the storyline of a fantasy classic?  
  
Not only did new technology span across Middle Earth, so did women's lib. In the next chapter you will be introduced to the female ranger that Nevithion loves so much. -snicker-  
  
Stay tuned to this twisted, technological, princess crushing-even- though-she's-in-love-with-the-king-of-Gondor driven Middle Earth story. 


End file.
